Welcome Bowen!

About two years ago my sister Brittny introduced the idea of "fostering to adopt"after countless conversations of heartbreak over my family dilemma. The dilemma being, we were cautioned against birthing more children at the risk of more health problems for me, resulting in more premature babies. We were heart broken to say the least. We had two beautiful miracles who we were so lucky to have. How could I want more? I just knew in my heart my family was not done! When she mentioned this idea, I completely shut her down and didn't even want to hear her out. I just knew I wasn't strong enough to go down that road. As the months grew on, my heart began to soften towards the idea of fostering as I randomly began to hear little bits about it throughout my days. I liken it to when your friend tells you about a car you have never seen before, and then all of a sudden you see it everywhere. About 6-8 months after I initially heard the idea, came the "thunder and lightening" promptings. It was as if Heavenly Father opened the heavens and spoke directly to my heart, telling me what I need to do. Foster care!! I could no longer ignore what I felt best for our family. Tyler and I set out on our trek to become licensed foster parents. Let me just tell you, foster care personnel will beg for you to be foster parents, while at the same time telling you what an idiot you are for becoming one. It was so funny to me. It took about 6 months to become licensed and three more months to receive our first call. I was at Walmart with zaida when I completely missed my call and texts from Ryan, my case worker. I knew as I called him back without doubt they had a placement for us. My heart was pounding as my caseworker told me about a 4 week old baby boy who needed a family to love him. We prayed about it and knew almost instantly we had to do this! So many emotions flooded my mind as I went to pick him up a few days later. Was I capable of loving this baby? Am I subjecting not only myself, but my entire family to extreme heartache? Am I prepared for the emotional roller coaster that was about to become my life?
I walked into the room where his aunt was holding him and instantly I fell in love. "A tractor beam sucked me right in!" He was dressed in a dirty monkey pajama outfit. He had a cute knitted hat on top of his head that had leaves stuck to it. All I wanted to do was love this precious baby. I wanted to love and care for him. Where he came from did not matter to me.





I sat with a very devastated aunt for several hours before I got my opportunity to hold him. He was absolutely precious! I felt so lucky to have him bless our family! I couldn't wait to take him home to meet the girls! Sienna had been begging relentlessly for a brother for soooooo long! Her words, "I don't want another sister, I already have one. I want a brother!" Tyler was in South Africa on business, which is only fitting since he was in France when I was admitted into the hospital before Zaida was born. But he came home a few days later to meet him.















Over the next few months I took him to about two family visits a week. Lots of ups and downs. The one thing that kept me strong throughout this wild process was my love for him and desire for him to be happy. We got to know his family and where he came from over these months as well. All I ever wanted was to feel reassured that the family would accept me and my family, and know we love him and ultimately wanted what was best for him. We prayed and prayed for that reassurance. As things were coming to a sad end for the family, both his biological parents told us they were happy we were the parents raising their child. The birth mom called me his mom! She told the judge she was so thankful and knew we could give him a life she couldn't. Very bitter sweet moment! It told me how much she loves her son and wants him to be happy. Both parents did the unselfish thing and relinquished their rights to him. It was very emotional watching the mom and dad make this life altering decision for him. After a series of questions from the judge directed at the parents, they both explained how they felt towards Tyler and I. They both knew we were loving parents and would give him a good life. As sad of a situation that was to experience, it was so beneficial to know they wanted us to be his parents. They knew what was best for him and both wanted that for him. Following that, the judge set the adoption date. I was completely blindsided. I just couldn't believe we were finally at this moment. My heart was so full of joy I could barely breathe. This little angel who blessed our home for the last 5 months would soon officially be mine legally and eternally.
August 5th 2014 marks Bowen's adoption day. All my pictures are on my camera. It was such a great moment. Both my case workers were there. The bailiff called Bubba's legal birth name and we went into the court room. When the adoption was final, the judge stood and announced his new official name, Bowen Tyler Berrett! To hear the judge announce his name in court was astounding. I may have shed a few tears in there...I can't say it felt any different once the adoption was final, I just knew he was finally mine. Bowen, from day one always felt like my son. Whether he stayed in our home or not, he would always be my son who I would love and cherish. The adoption day just legalized me as his mom. August 16th marks our sealing day. Wow! No words can properly justify the feelings and emotions I had that day. This little innocent baby who we prayed for would finally be ours eternally. To see my children dressed in white all kneeling at the alter was breath taking. They all looked so sweet and pure. My whole family, except for nick and the jacobsons, were able to be there. I felt so blessed in this moment to know families can be together forever! I know my Heavenly Father is very aware of me and my desires to be a mom. I am so thankful and my heart is so full.



August 17th marks Bowen's blessing day. Tyler gave him a beautiful blessing. We had a very nice lunch at my inlaw's home afterwards. What an amazing month!


When we very first brought Bowen into our home, we felt we needed to give him a nickname. We didn't feel right calling him by his legal name and it didn't feel right naming him because he wasn't legally ours and we didn't know if he ever would be. We started calling him "Bubbas". We called him that for 6 months, which made deciding on a real name next to impossible. He was Bubbas! We played around with names until one just felt right. We still call him Bubbas and have a few keepsakes in his room to remind us of his journey.



This blanket was given to him by our neighbors, the Hales. It was so sweet of them and meant so much to us.


I found this little gem at Swiss Days. It was a must! The little bear was given to us by his case worker, Aubrey on the day of his adoption. He was was given this little bear to "adopt".
This truly has been such an amazing journey. It has opened my eyes to all the children in foster care and the devastating reasons that brought them there. I hope in the future I can help more kids in need feel loved and wanted. I really hope my journey helps bring awareness to other families in similar situations.